Saturday, February 25, 2012

"Come to Jesus....And Rest"

Here is an update on Olivia and an overview of what has been the last few weeks.  This has been a hard day for me to sit and update the blog about my precious little livi.  We have had such an emotional roller coaster the last two weeks.  I have felt like I've been in a bad dream.  As some may know, Olivia had a very bad episode in the pediatricians office last month.  It was enough to make the dr leave the office and personally call in a referral to the developmental neurology clinic to get Olivia seen.  Well, I am so blessed to not only have a wonderful pediatrician, but have great friends and family of God because by prayers...answered prayers we had an appointment in just 4 weeks, when others wait 6-12 months!  PTL! for the answered prayers for a speedy appointment, but what was to come, I was not prepared for.  I know that God never gives us more than we can handle.  I know that God chose me, but why?  What makes me the choice for this job....Do you ever wonder what requirements God sees that we have for why he chooses those of us with "special" babies?

We have an absolutely wonderful developmental neurologist, I couldn't have hand picked a better one.  We saw her for over two hours our first visit.  She sat down with me, talked about all the problems Olivia was having, referring back to all tests, dr visits etc.. Little did I know, she was going to tell me something I did not want to process.  As she pulled up all of Olivia's scans, MRI's as plain as a cloud in the sky you could see Olivia's brain on the computer.  There it was, damage in her frontal lobe, an excess of fluid surrounding her brain.  She was diagnosed with external hydrocephalus.  The scan shows her head is growing like it's supposed to but her brain is not so the fluid is filling up the space where the brain should be.  The news I never wanted to hear was being spoken Olivia needs surgery.  The neurologist said herself that surgery was a definite.  Olivia will need a shunt put in to drain the excess fluid from her brain to releive the pressure.  The most disturbing of all of this was what came next.  Olivia has been getting radiation every week, several scans done on her head and not ONE person noticed the changes that were going on.  It's a real stone to swallow when you hear the dr say she is disgusted that not one dr has mentioned this when it was in the last radiology report.  My heart much has my baby much more does she have to suffer??  We had a follow up MRI yesterday and are waiting for the report to be put in and we will then be seeing a second neurosurgeon outside of Texas Children's for an opinion on operating on Olivia.  The surgery is risky.  The neurologist said that the risks of operating on Olivia could cause more damage to what is there, that there is no guarantee at 100% that this would help Olivia.  Also, with the other problems going on there is risks as well to operate on her now.  So what do you do?  How am I supposed to sit, drink coffee and watch Olivia daily waiting not knowing what's going on inside and wondering is she going to be ok until she's OK enough for the surgeon to operate????

Too much, I'm tired!  I want her fixed, I want her healthy, I want her to be normal....Well, alot was put into perspective from a very near and dear friend and family.  She is fixed, she is healthy, she is normal.  This IS who God intended her to be.  This is never a decision I want to be put in as a mom, but I have to know that she is in God's hands, she is His child and she is going to be ok.  I know that God gives me the strength, I know God is where my faith and trust and are put and now I have to know that no matter the outcome, if it's His will and if the decision is what He wants me to make, I can handle tomorrow.  Through all of this, I have thought back to one of my favorite old hymns....I Surrender All....All to Him my blessed Savior, I surrender all....That's all I have.  I don't have the answers, I don't have the healing powers,  I don't have the guarantee.  All I have is GOD....And God has it all.

I ask all of you who follow this blog, who are reading it for the first time, who know us and who don't to please PRAY.  I truly believe in the power of prayer.  We have a long road ahead and I know that as people pray for God's will in Olivia;s life to be revealed to me, to the doctors we see that as I stay open to His will that I will recieve His answer.  Things will always fall into place, in His time and that there is never a doubt about anything when you are doing His will.  Thank you to all who pray daily for my girls, for my family and for the doctors who care for them.  It means alot to me that I know I can call on everyone to pray and I dont have to wonder is it being done?  Please keep us in your thoughts as we anxiously wait for the test results, for the follow up with a new surgeon, and ultimately for the decision set before us.  I know I don't need to worry because God is in control, but I'm human and a mommy and it's hard.....Even though it was under some not so pleasant circumstances, I have truly enjoyed getting to see some of my church family last week.  I enjoyed the prayer circles, the laughs, the cries and the joys.  Thank you to all who help with my girls, who have taken time out of your busy schedules to visit with us, meet us at hospital, to pray and to love them.  You all mean so much to them, to me and to my family.  May God bless each of you and again I say Thank You and love to you all...

Saturday, February 4, 2012

When two or more gather.....

WOW.....I mean literally.....WOW.  That is all I know to say at the moment.  You know even as a Christian sometimes Ive wondered in my life as a young child, as an adult and even now as a mom to two sick children "Is there really a God around?" Like where is He when the *#@! hits the fan....Or where was He when they told me my child has a disease that could be treated or could kill her??? I am going to have to live with a child who can't handle the little things in life?  Dont I have enough?  I would wonder sometimes is this my payback for my past?  Am I now reaping what I sowed?  Well I have figured out that who AM I to question ANYTHING that happens in my life.  As I have taken this journey with Sam and Livi, I have found out that God is EVERYWHERE!!!!! Hello, wake up Kelly.  God's the one that brought you to the doctors you needed, God's the one that gave you a prayer warrior church family, God's the one...God's the one!  Through all of this, every fundraiser, every benefit it has all started from a seed.  One person planting a desire to help us out and through the power of prayer, the current cause would snowball...

In the past two days, I have gone to help deliver hundreds of BBQ meals that were cooked for Galena Park ISD faculty in order to help with costs for the girls ongoing medical treatments.  I then had a day spent at the elementary school where a kickball tournament was held...IN THE RAIN, people played fighting to stay out of the mud and at the top of the leader board, just like my girls fight to stay well.  Then, we went to Chick-fil-A where they were donating 15% of sales to the Gant Girls Fund.  Didn't I say WOW.  I mean that just doesn't come from ordinary people.  Some may say, well Im the one who gave the 1,000 check, or Im the one who paid for all the food to be cooked, or Im the one who organized the most.  Yes, you may have done that but it's through God's provisions that you had that money to give, you had that food to cook or you had that time to make endless phone calls. 

How do you even begin to say THANK YOU to all those that are involved.  You don't even see half the people who get involved with fundraisers.  Im just simply a mom trying to get my children to their treatments, therapy and pick up their meds and keep them as happy as they can be all the while passing people in walmart not knowing if theyre the one who put money in the account.  Seeing the lady at the grovery store saying bless you and Ill pray for your kids, who is she?  Wow all I did was grab a grocery cart and she grabbed my heart.  How do you give back to that?  Thank you doesn;t seem near what I should be saying to all the thousands of generous people who have touched our lives in so many ways. I can say that in the end no matter how things turn out for Sam and Livi in life that man life taken for granted by soo many means something soo different to me.  My journey as Sam and Livi's mom has not been one I wanted at times, its been a life that I didn't think I could do to the best of my ability but wait it's not my life.  This is my duty, I was called by God to care for HIS children.  He didn't say to me well Im getting off the cross today so your sins will remain because I can't do this as well as my Father expects. God doesnt make mistakes.  He knew what He was doing when He placed His children in my care.  If He has enough faith to entrust their lives in my hands, then I should have enough faith to know He will see me through to the end, no matter what that end may be.  I cannot say enough how grateful I am to God for lending me His children, for being able to learn patience from them, trust, an undyeing love and strength.  I am truly blessed that I was chosen for this wonderful opportunity.

We face many challenges ahead with Sam and Livi.  Sam has started her next round of chemo and radiation and the dosage has been increased.  Which could mean more fevers, more sick days, more days without eating.  Livi will see a developmental neurologist in two weeks to determine what is causing the changes in her.  As I write, I keep thinking of the same question always asked, "What can I do?" Pray even when you think you should be doing more, just pray.  Praying has worked this far so why would you change?  I am so appreciative to all who pray, who do fundraisers, who keep my girls, who make trips to the hospital to see me.  Everyone has grasped my heart in someway and the things done for our family will forever be a memory of today for me.  I can only hope and pray that as Sam and Livi get older I can sit down and tell them a story.  A story of love, hope, friendship, faith and courage.  Title it Sam and Livi, authored by all of you. 

Thank you all so much, again it never seems like "thank you" is enough but if I knew what to do different, I would.  I would appreciate the continued prayers for the girl's as well as the family as we continue to fight this battle, knowing that we win, just not knowing when trophy day is!!!  Please say a prayer for the girl's at grace, at bedtime, as your driving to work.  God hears them all, I believe and I know He does.  Please pass this on, so that others who may not know my family will know there is someone in need of prayer.  Please remember them when youre standing in line at the fast food restaurant and you see the childrens miracle network, give a prayer! May God Bless you all as always who read this, pray and pass it along.  I have been blessed. Truly blessed.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Fundraising Opportunity

There will be a Chick-fil-A fundraiser this Saturday, February 4th at the restaurant at Wallisville and Beltway 8.  All you have to do is go enjoy some yummy Chick-fil-A and help the Gant Girls.  When you check out, simply ask for your receipt and then deposit it in the basket that will be set out for you.   Then Chick-fil-A will donate 15% of all receipts put in the basket to the Gant Girls.  It runs from 6am-10pm so you can enjoy breakfast, lunch or dinner, or all three!! 

If you are not in the area, please be in prayer for this event.  Pray that people will see the signs and drop their receipts in the basket and that much will be raised to help with the medical expenses for these sweet girls.

Thank you all in advance for your participation and prayer for this event.