Well, yesterday Tuesday March 6 we met with another neurologist, this time at Memorial Hermann Children's Hospital. Don't want to get overjoyed with her being so "observant and knowledgable" to Olivia but I have to say I went in with an open mind and an open heart....I thought. We met with her for a little over two hours. She read through all the previous reports, looked over all the scans, ultrasounds, MRI's and lab reports. While discussing Olivia's daily behaviours, problems and concerns, she showed me all the MRI's. In between all of our brains, there is a thick membrane lining housing all of the nerves that connects our right side of the brain to the left. It allows all the nerves to send signals back and forth properly, keeps everything in tact. Well on the first MRI back in July of 2011, the radiologist noticed that the membrane was thin. He quoted " concerned about the thinning membrane lining the corpus luteum"........was that EVER discussed when neurologist got the report, NO! OK am I angry, thats an understatement. Then the last MRI that we had on February 24, 2012, reported that there was no lining......OK am I pissed off now, NO I have surpassed that emotion. I told her am I supposed to be glad you found this! Why can't I just find out the first time what in the hell is wrong with my child....Im sorry I am so angry, frustrated, full of emotions that I've never even had before but you are talking about something that we could have known about a year ago. Not that anything could have fixed it as the conversation went on and as her explanations of the days to come continued but still. Why go to medical school, why take an oath, why have a practice if you're not gonna follow what you promised. WHOA!! I just put my foot in my mouth. I promised myself, I promised God that no matter what came out of the doctors mouth whether it was what I wanted to hear or not, I was going to accept the answer, accept the outcome and say what do I do next....You know it really is hard to do what you set out in your mind to do, or what others recommend you do when you're faced with your child suffering, living a "not so normal" life and feeling absolutely GUILTY over the fact that maybe you should have sought an outside opinion sooner,maybe you should have fought harder to begin with. Maybe so, or maybe I should have shut up along time ago and listened to God tell me you are the mom and I am the healer. You don't have the letters behind your name that say M.D. you dont have the nail scarred hands to prove you CAN do it all, you just have my child to care for, my child to teach and raise and my child that I can heal on Earth or in Heaven....I am so humbled when the good Lord brings me to my knees once again because it truly lets me know the power of His love, His forgiveness and of His presence in my everyday life.
Needless to say, by the end of the visit with the doctor, I was pleased that we met with her, upset over some of the news but accepting of the fact that we have plans, plans in place for the days to come. We have a strategy of how things will be with Olivia and how we are going to deal with her and the best of all, we actually have a follow-up appointment with her after all the future tests that are ordered will be done. Olivia will have an MRI of the neck and lower spine, followed by a spinal tap to remove excess fluid so that the fluid from the brain can drain down. She is going to start steroids an on/off regimen to help reduce swelling and hope and pray that the brain begins to breathe and realizes there is space and it can begin to grow. Next she is going to start her on seizure meds for a trial period of 30 days to see if there is any change in behavior. To see if she begins to sleep at night, has less screaming fits. She is also scheduling a hearing test to see if there is any damage since the tumor is on the paratiod gland which houses the nerves. She knows she hears us but the question is how well..The best news was all these tests will be done within the next few weeks and ALL results will be in when we go to our follow-up visit. That was an answered prayer that wasn;t even prayed for....at least by me, maybe one of my wonderful prayer warriors asked for that and if so I am eternally grateful!!
As far as dealling with Olivia, she is going to need to continue her therapies, she is going to need the extra pushes to grasp concepts, commands and everyday life as opposed to others....but we can handle it, we can handle anything....thanks to a very dear friend who helped me realize that it's going to be hard but not impossible. Olivia has had an interview at a very good school that deals with children with autism and neurological disorders in hopes that this might be the place for her. We have also had an interview with some therapists that can come into the home and do the same treatments that this school would do. We are just waiting to hear back from both places and then praying that what God wants for Olivia that we will be open to and accept.
Please continue to pray for Olivia. All of this has been very difficult on her and on top of all the usual things we are currently going downtown to Texas Children's daily for whirlpool treatments for her excema and this will continue for quite some time. That is hard but she is doing good on the treatments and seems to fight a little less each day. Please continue to pray for sam and hannah as well. This has been hard on them with having to be at the hospital lots more than normal, but as always they seem to adjust and it becomes a routine thats not even questioned. As always, thank you so much to all of you who pray for my precious babies for their comfort, for their healing, for their peace. Thanks to all the many wonderful friend who have been their to love on my babies, give them a little joy and give me a little help even if it is in the surroundings of Texas Children's.....we DEFINITELY have a wonderful church family, wonderful family and friends. Thanks to all who pass along this blog and share and ask for prayers, it's greatly appreciated. You all mean so much to me, those who are my nearest and dearest, those who are aquaintances and those of whom I have never met, you mean the world to me and my family for taking the time to read, pass along and pray. I truly believe God hears all our prayers and I know He has already answered I just have to be patient and trust and have faith in Him. May God Bless you all....all my love
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Jesus....He CAN Move Mountains
Well this past week has been crazy to say in the least. I'm beginning to think that Olivia has the doctors soo stumped that the same answer to every question asked has become routine...."we will have to run some tests and see" Aren't you tired of running tests? I know I'm tired, Olivia's tired... I catch myself sometimes thinking I must be praying wrong, asking for the wrong thing or not praying enough because how can God hear my prayers and NOT answer them???? Helloooo my kids are suffering here, theyre your kids right? I want Him to intervene and He's not and I can't figure out why? Well I have to say, that I realized once again what the problem is as God brought me to my knees like He has soo many times before. As I sit in the doctor's office, or at home on the other end of the phone, I hear what the doctor is telling me, what they are planning or wanting to try and I catch myself saying why?, can't we do something else, can you give me a definite answer this is going to make it ok? Maybe this is God's plan and here I sit being a mommy and not 100% faith invested in God that I'm the one stopping what maybe could be the right intervention for Olivia? It's hard to be facing the fact that what could help her may also be what could literally cause her to be worse off than what she is right now....I have to have FAITH, I have to TRUST but I'm human I want a definite. I know that definitely, Olivia and Sam both will be healed completely one day. Now whether that day is here on earth and I can rejoice or whether that day comes when He calls them home, I have got to learn to accept the no response at the end of my AMEN's, I have to learn to accept the "we will wait and see" answers. Until I can throw up the white flag and truly say I surrender and say "yes" I'll go here, I'll see this doctor, I'll pick up these forms for bloodwork, I may never get the answers I want and God may never intervene because He wants me to see that He is working in their lives but I have to sit back, shut up and listen. WOW that is soo hard for me to do.
These next few weeks are going to be pretty rough and I ask that each one of you who reads this, who believes in the power of prayer and who loves the Lord to please keep my girls in your prayers. As for Olivia, her excema had gotten bad so for the next two weeks we are at Texas Childrens everyday for whirlpool therapy, on top of our other weekly appointments. We are waiting for a phone call anyday to see the neuro team at Memorial Hermann Children's Hospital for a second opinion on what will come of Oliva facing surgery. The doctor at Texas Children's said the fluid on the brain without a doubt needs to be drained in hopes that it will not only relieve the pressure, make her maybe feel a little better but the big plus to doing that would be that the brain might begin to grow. A shunt would need to be put in to do that but because her brain is underdeveloped, and with the malformation and the tumor being where it is, the surgery is risky and the outcome of her being better as opposed to being worse isn't good. There is an option that is being talked about. The doctor has talked about doing a spinal tap to remove fluid and then repeating an MRI four weeks from the spinal tap to see how things are looking. That is alot less invasive, could give us some good results but could also do absolutely nothing and then we would be back to square one....
Also, Sam will have bloodwork done the week after next and a bone scan to see if so far there are any changes. She still has several treatments to go before this round of 12 chemo and radiation treatments are done, but we are praying and hoping for the best. There is only one more 12 rounds that she can do with an upped dosage for chemo and radiation before they begin to do the intravenous chemo. Sam seems to do ok some days and others not at all. She has begun to run fever quite a bit, and be very irritable which is understandable. I can't even begin to imagine how she feels.
Please keep both of the girls in your prayers as the next few weeks will prove to be very trying as we spend everyday at the hospital for treatments, see new doctors and learn of what is to come for the both of them. I know that those of you who are faithful followers not only to this blog, but to the Lord will pray that His will be done in all things regarding Sam and Olivia. Please pray that my mind be open and my heart be accepting to what is being said about my babies. It is hard to sit and watch your babies suffer and be sick and hurt and not be able to do anything but PRAY. They don't understand what is going on with them and all they know is sickness so they don't know that there is something so much better out there. Even though that's hard to accept, I am glad that they can't comprehend they're differences. Over all, they seem to be happy in their daily lives. Please pray for Hannah to have peace and acceptance over things to come and to have the acceptance of others who may not know what is going on with Sam and Olivia. Please pray for her to have compassion for all. She has a hard time if we are out and people are staring at Sam with her mask on her face or Olivia bandaged from neck to her feet to keep her from scratching. She gets angry that people say things. I try to tell her they just don't understand but she always says I don't care! I pray that she will learn from Sam....because Sam doesnt care!!! If someone says to her "why do you have that mask on" Sam being Sam simply says "I'm sick and I don't want your germs" Couldnt have said it any better myself. Im very grateful that Sam is so accepting that her mask is a part of her everyday wardrobe, just like her pink tutus or her cinderella dress! God thank you for her teaching us all of acceptance in any circumstance....
Thank you to all who read and share my blog with your family and friends. I am truly blessed to have you all who pass on the request to pray for my 3 sweet children. May God bless you all.
These next few weeks are going to be pretty rough and I ask that each one of you who reads this, who believes in the power of prayer and who loves the Lord to please keep my girls in your prayers. As for Olivia, her excema had gotten bad so for the next two weeks we are at Texas Childrens everyday for whirlpool therapy, on top of our other weekly appointments. We are waiting for a phone call anyday to see the neuro team at Memorial Hermann Children's Hospital for a second opinion on what will come of Oliva facing surgery. The doctor at Texas Children's said the fluid on the brain without a doubt needs to be drained in hopes that it will not only relieve the pressure, make her maybe feel a little better but the big plus to doing that would be that the brain might begin to grow. A shunt would need to be put in to do that but because her brain is underdeveloped, and with the malformation and the tumor being where it is, the surgery is risky and the outcome of her being better as opposed to being worse isn't good. There is an option that is being talked about. The doctor has talked about doing a spinal tap to remove fluid and then repeating an MRI four weeks from the spinal tap to see how things are looking. That is alot less invasive, could give us some good results but could also do absolutely nothing and then we would be back to square one....
Also, Sam will have bloodwork done the week after next and a bone scan to see if so far there are any changes. She still has several treatments to go before this round of 12 chemo and radiation treatments are done, but we are praying and hoping for the best. There is only one more 12 rounds that she can do with an upped dosage for chemo and radiation before they begin to do the intravenous chemo. Sam seems to do ok some days and others not at all. She has begun to run fever quite a bit, and be very irritable which is understandable. I can't even begin to imagine how she feels.
Please keep both of the girls in your prayers as the next few weeks will prove to be very trying as we spend everyday at the hospital for treatments, see new doctors and learn of what is to come for the both of them. I know that those of you who are faithful followers not only to this blog, but to the Lord will pray that His will be done in all things regarding Sam and Olivia. Please pray that my mind be open and my heart be accepting to what is being said about my babies. It is hard to sit and watch your babies suffer and be sick and hurt and not be able to do anything but PRAY. They don't understand what is going on with them and all they know is sickness so they don't know that there is something so much better out there. Even though that's hard to accept, I am glad that they can't comprehend they're differences. Over all, they seem to be happy in their daily lives. Please pray for Hannah to have peace and acceptance over things to come and to have the acceptance of others who may not know what is going on with Sam and Olivia. Please pray for her to have compassion for all. She has a hard time if we are out and people are staring at Sam with her mask on her face or Olivia bandaged from neck to her feet to keep her from scratching. She gets angry that people say things. I try to tell her they just don't understand but she always says I don't care! I pray that she will learn from Sam....because Sam doesnt care!!! If someone says to her "why do you have that mask on" Sam being Sam simply says "I'm sick and I don't want your germs" Couldnt have said it any better myself. Im very grateful that Sam is so accepting that her mask is a part of her everyday wardrobe, just like her pink tutus or her cinderella dress! God thank you for her teaching us all of acceptance in any circumstance....
Thank you to all who read and share my blog with your family and friends. I am truly blessed to have you all who pass on the request to pray for my 3 sweet children. May God bless you all.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
"Come to Jesus....And Rest"
Here is an update on Olivia and an overview of what has been the last few weeks. This has been a hard day for me to sit and update the blog about my precious little livi. We have had such an emotional roller coaster the last two weeks. I have felt like I've been in a bad dream. As some may know, Olivia had a very bad episode in the pediatricians office last month. It was enough to make the dr leave the office and personally call in a referral to the developmental neurology clinic to get Olivia seen. Well, I am so blessed to not only have a wonderful pediatrician, but have great friends and family of God because by prayers...answered prayers we had an appointment in just 4 weeks, when others wait 6-12 months! PTL! for the answered prayers for a speedy appointment, but what was to come, I was not prepared for. I know that God never gives us more than we can handle. I know that God chose me, but why? What makes me the choice for this job....Do you ever wonder what requirements God sees that we have for why he chooses those of us with "special" babies?
We have an absolutely wonderful developmental neurologist, I couldn't have hand picked a better one. We saw her for over two hours our first visit. She sat down with me, talked about all the problems Olivia was having, referring back to all tests, dr visits etc.. Little did I know, she was going to tell me something I did not want to process. As she pulled up all of Olivia's scans, MRI's as plain as a cloud in the sky you could see Olivia's brain on the computer. There it was, damage in her frontal lobe, an excess of fluid surrounding her brain. She was diagnosed with external hydrocephalus. The scan shows her head is growing like it's supposed to but her brain is not so the fluid is filling up the space where the brain should be. The news I never wanted to hear was being spoken Olivia needs surgery. The neurologist said herself that surgery was a definite. Olivia will need a shunt put in to drain the excess fluid from her brain to releive the pressure. The most disturbing of all of this was what came next. Olivia has been getting radiation every week, several scans done on her head and not ONE person noticed the changes that were going on. It's a real stone to swallow when you hear the dr say she is disgusted that not one dr has mentioned this when it was in the last radiology report. My heart sank....how much has my baby suffered...how much more does she have to suffer?? We had a follow up MRI yesterday and are waiting for the report to be put in and we will then be seeing a second neurosurgeon outside of Texas Children's for an opinion on operating on Olivia. The surgery is risky. The neurologist said that the risks of operating on Olivia could cause more damage to what is there, that there is no guarantee at 100% that this would help Olivia. Also, with the other problems going on there is risks as well to operate on her now. So what do you do? How am I supposed to sit, drink coffee and watch Olivia daily waiting not knowing what's going on inside and wondering is she going to be ok until she's OK enough for the surgeon to operate????
Too much, I'm tired! I want her fixed, I want her healthy, I want her to be normal....Well, alot was put into perspective from a very near and dear friend and family. She is fixed, she is healthy, she is normal. This IS who God intended her to be. This is never a decision I want to be put in as a mom, but I have to know that she is in God's hands, she is His child and she is going to be ok. I know that God gives me the strength, I know God is where my faith and trust and are put and now I have to know that no matter the outcome, if it's His will and if the decision is what He wants me to make, I can handle tomorrow. Through all of this, I have thought back to one of my favorite old hymns....I Surrender All....All to Him my blessed Savior, I surrender all....That's all I have. I don't have the answers, I don't have the healing powers, I don't have the guarantee. All I have is GOD....And God has it all.
I ask all of you who follow this blog, who are reading it for the first time, who know us and who don't to please PRAY. I truly believe in the power of prayer. We have a long road ahead and I know that as people pray for God's will in Olivia;s life to be revealed to me, to the doctors we see that as I stay open to His will that I will recieve His answer. Things will always fall into place, in His time and that there is never a doubt about anything when you are doing His will. Thank you to all who pray daily for my girls, for my family and for the doctors who care for them. It means alot to me that I know I can call on everyone to pray and I dont have to wonder is it being done? Please keep us in your thoughts as we anxiously wait for the test results, for the follow up with a new surgeon, and ultimately for the decision set before us. I know I don't need to worry because God is in control, but I'm human and a mommy and it's hard.....Even though it was under some not so pleasant circumstances, I have truly enjoyed getting to see some of my church family last week. I enjoyed the prayer circles, the laughs, the cries and the joys. Thank you to all who help with my girls, who have taken time out of your busy schedules to visit with us, meet us at hospital, to pray and to love them. You all mean so much to them, to me and to my family. May God bless each of you and again I say Thank You and love to you all...
We have an absolutely wonderful developmental neurologist, I couldn't have hand picked a better one. We saw her for over two hours our first visit. She sat down with me, talked about all the problems Olivia was having, referring back to all tests, dr visits etc.. Little did I know, she was going to tell me something I did not want to process. As she pulled up all of Olivia's scans, MRI's as plain as a cloud in the sky you could see Olivia's brain on the computer. There it was, damage in her frontal lobe, an excess of fluid surrounding her brain. She was diagnosed with external hydrocephalus. The scan shows her head is growing like it's supposed to but her brain is not so the fluid is filling up the space where the brain should be. The news I never wanted to hear was being spoken Olivia needs surgery. The neurologist said herself that surgery was a definite. Olivia will need a shunt put in to drain the excess fluid from her brain to releive the pressure. The most disturbing of all of this was what came next. Olivia has been getting radiation every week, several scans done on her head and not ONE person noticed the changes that were going on. It's a real stone to swallow when you hear the dr say she is disgusted that not one dr has mentioned this when it was in the last radiology report. My heart sank....how much has my baby suffered...how much more does she have to suffer?? We had a follow up MRI yesterday and are waiting for the report to be put in and we will then be seeing a second neurosurgeon outside of Texas Children's for an opinion on operating on Olivia. The surgery is risky. The neurologist said that the risks of operating on Olivia could cause more damage to what is there, that there is no guarantee at 100% that this would help Olivia. Also, with the other problems going on there is risks as well to operate on her now. So what do you do? How am I supposed to sit, drink coffee and watch Olivia daily waiting not knowing what's going on inside and wondering is she going to be ok until she's OK enough for the surgeon to operate????
Too much, I'm tired! I want her fixed, I want her healthy, I want her to be normal....Well, alot was put into perspective from a very near and dear friend and family. She is fixed, she is healthy, she is normal. This IS who God intended her to be. This is never a decision I want to be put in as a mom, but I have to know that she is in God's hands, she is His child and she is going to be ok. I know that God gives me the strength, I know God is where my faith and trust and are put and now I have to know that no matter the outcome, if it's His will and if the decision is what He wants me to make, I can handle tomorrow. Through all of this, I have thought back to one of my favorite old hymns....I Surrender All....All to Him my blessed Savior, I surrender all....That's all I have. I don't have the answers, I don't have the healing powers, I don't have the guarantee. All I have is GOD....And God has it all.
I ask all of you who follow this blog, who are reading it for the first time, who know us and who don't to please PRAY. I truly believe in the power of prayer. We have a long road ahead and I know that as people pray for God's will in Olivia;s life to be revealed to me, to the doctors we see that as I stay open to His will that I will recieve His answer. Things will always fall into place, in His time and that there is never a doubt about anything when you are doing His will. Thank you to all who pray daily for my girls, for my family and for the doctors who care for them. It means alot to me that I know I can call on everyone to pray and I dont have to wonder is it being done? Please keep us in your thoughts as we anxiously wait for the test results, for the follow up with a new surgeon, and ultimately for the decision set before us. I know I don't need to worry because God is in control, but I'm human and a mommy and it's hard.....Even though it was under some not so pleasant circumstances, I have truly enjoyed getting to see some of my church family last week. I enjoyed the prayer circles, the laughs, the cries and the joys. Thank you to all who help with my girls, who have taken time out of your busy schedules to visit with us, meet us at hospital, to pray and to love them. You all mean so much to them, to me and to my family. May God bless each of you and again I say Thank You and love to you all...
Saturday, February 4, 2012
When two or more gather.....
WOW.....I mean literally.....WOW. That is all I know to say at the moment. You know even as a Christian sometimes Ive wondered in my life as a young child, as an adult and even now as a mom to two sick children "Is there really a God around?" Like where is He when the *#@! hits the fan....Or where was He when they told me my child has a disease that could be treated or could kill her??? I am going to have to live with a child who can't handle the little things in life? Dont I have enough? I would wonder sometimes is this my payback for my past? Am I now reaping what I sowed? Well I have figured out that who AM I to question ANYTHING that happens in my life. As I have taken this journey with Sam and Livi, I have found out that God is EVERYWHERE!!!!! Hello, wake up Kelly. God's the one that brought you to the doctors you needed, God's the one that gave you a prayer warrior church family, God's the one...God's the one! Through all of this, every fundraiser, every benefit it has all started from a seed. One person planting a desire to help us out and through the power of prayer, the current cause would snowball...
In the past two days, I have gone to help deliver hundreds of BBQ meals that were cooked for Galena Park ISD faculty in order to help with costs for the girls ongoing medical treatments. I then had a day spent at the elementary school where a kickball tournament was held...IN THE RAIN, people played fighting to stay out of the mud and at the top of the leader board, just like my girls fight to stay well. Then, we went to Chick-fil-A where they were donating 15% of sales to the Gant Girls Fund. Didn't I say WOW. I mean that just doesn't come from ordinary people. Some may say, well Im the one who gave the 1,000 check, or Im the one who paid for all the food to be cooked, or Im the one who organized the most. Yes, you may have done that but it's through God's provisions that you had that money to give, you had that food to cook or you had that time to make endless phone calls.
How do you even begin to say THANK YOU to all those that are involved. You don't even see half the people who get involved with fundraisers. Im just simply a mom trying to get my children to their treatments, therapy and pick up their meds and keep them as happy as they can be all the while passing people in walmart not knowing if theyre the one who put money in the account. Seeing the lady at the grovery store saying bless you and Ill pray for your kids, who is she? Wow all I did was grab a grocery cart and she grabbed my heart. How do you give back to that? Thank you doesn;t seem near what I should be saying to all the thousands of generous people who have touched our lives in so many ways. I can say that in the end no matter how things turn out for Sam and Livi in life that man life taken for granted by soo many means something soo different to me. My journey as Sam and Livi's mom has not been one I wanted at times, its been a life that I didn't think I could do to the best of my ability but wait it's not my life. This is my duty, I was called by God to care for HIS children. He didn't say to me well Im getting off the cross today so your sins will remain because I can't do this as well as my Father expects. God doesnt make mistakes. He knew what He was doing when He placed His children in my care. If He has enough faith to entrust their lives in my hands, then I should have enough faith to know He will see me through to the end, no matter what that end may be. I cannot say enough how grateful I am to God for lending me His children, for being able to learn patience from them, trust, an undyeing love and strength. I am truly blessed that I was chosen for this wonderful opportunity.
We face many challenges ahead with Sam and Livi. Sam has started her next round of chemo and radiation and the dosage has been increased. Which could mean more fevers, more sick days, more days without eating. Livi will see a developmental neurologist in two weeks to determine what is causing the changes in her. As I write, I keep thinking of the same question always asked, "What can I do?" Pray even when you think you should be doing more, just pray. Praying has worked this far so why would you change? I am so appreciative to all who pray, who do fundraisers, who keep my girls, who make trips to the hospital to see me. Everyone has grasped my heart in someway and the things done for our family will forever be a memory of today for me. I can only hope and pray that as Sam and Livi get older I can sit down and tell them a story. A story of love, hope, friendship, faith and courage. Title it Sam and Livi, authored by all of you.
Thank you all so much, again it never seems like "thank you" is enough but if I knew what to do different, I would. I would appreciate the continued prayers for the girl's as well as the family as we continue to fight this battle, knowing that we win, just not knowing when trophy day is!!! Please say a prayer for the girl's at grace, at bedtime, as your driving to work. God hears them all, I believe and I know He does. Please pass this on, so that others who may not know my family will know there is someone in need of prayer. Please remember them when youre standing in line at the fast food restaurant and you see the childrens miracle network, give a prayer! May God Bless you all as always who read this, pray and pass it along. I have been blessed. Truly blessed.
In the past two days, I have gone to help deliver hundreds of BBQ meals that were cooked for Galena Park ISD faculty in order to help with costs for the girls ongoing medical treatments. I then had a day spent at the elementary school where a kickball tournament was held...IN THE RAIN, people played fighting to stay out of the mud and at the top of the leader board, just like my girls fight to stay well. Then, we went to Chick-fil-A where they were donating 15% of sales to the Gant Girls Fund. Didn't I say WOW. I mean that just doesn't come from ordinary people. Some may say, well Im the one who gave the 1,000 check, or Im the one who paid for all the food to be cooked, or Im the one who organized the most. Yes, you may have done that but it's through God's provisions that you had that money to give, you had that food to cook or you had that time to make endless phone calls.
How do you even begin to say THANK YOU to all those that are involved. You don't even see half the people who get involved with fundraisers. Im just simply a mom trying to get my children to their treatments, therapy and pick up their meds and keep them as happy as they can be all the while passing people in walmart not knowing if theyre the one who put money in the account. Seeing the lady at the grovery store saying bless you and Ill pray for your kids, who is she? Wow all I did was grab a grocery cart and she grabbed my heart. How do you give back to that? Thank you doesn;t seem near what I should be saying to all the thousands of generous people who have touched our lives in so many ways. I can say that in the end no matter how things turn out for Sam and Livi in life that man life taken for granted by soo many means something soo different to me. My journey as Sam and Livi's mom has not been one I wanted at times, its been a life that I didn't think I could do to the best of my ability but wait it's not my life. This is my duty, I was called by God to care for HIS children. He didn't say to me well Im getting off the cross today so your sins will remain because I can't do this as well as my Father expects. God doesnt make mistakes. He knew what He was doing when He placed His children in my care. If He has enough faith to entrust their lives in my hands, then I should have enough faith to know He will see me through to the end, no matter what that end may be. I cannot say enough how grateful I am to God for lending me His children, for being able to learn patience from them, trust, an undyeing love and strength. I am truly blessed that I was chosen for this wonderful opportunity.
We face many challenges ahead with Sam and Livi. Sam has started her next round of chemo and radiation and the dosage has been increased. Which could mean more fevers, more sick days, more days without eating. Livi will see a developmental neurologist in two weeks to determine what is causing the changes in her. As I write, I keep thinking of the same question always asked, "What can I do?" Pray even when you think you should be doing more, just pray. Praying has worked this far so why would you change? I am so appreciative to all who pray, who do fundraisers, who keep my girls, who make trips to the hospital to see me. Everyone has grasped my heart in someway and the things done for our family will forever be a memory of today for me. I can only hope and pray that as Sam and Livi get older I can sit down and tell them a story. A story of love, hope, friendship, faith and courage. Title it Sam and Livi, authored by all of you.
Thank you all so much, again it never seems like "thank you" is enough but if I knew what to do different, I would. I would appreciate the continued prayers for the girl's as well as the family as we continue to fight this battle, knowing that we win, just not knowing when trophy day is!!! Please say a prayer for the girl's at grace, at bedtime, as your driving to work. God hears them all, I believe and I know He does. Please pass this on, so that others who may not know my family will know there is someone in need of prayer. Please remember them when youre standing in line at the fast food restaurant and you see the childrens miracle network, give a prayer! May God Bless you all as always who read this, pray and pass it along. I have been blessed. Truly blessed.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Fundraising Opportunity
There will be a Chick-fil-A fundraiser this Saturday, February 4th at the restaurant at Wallisville and Beltway 8. All you have to do is go enjoy some yummy Chick-fil-A and help the Gant Girls. When you check out, simply ask for your receipt and then deposit it in the basket that will be set out for you. Then Chick-fil-A will donate 15% of all receipts put in the basket to the Gant Girls. It runs from 6am-10pm so you can enjoy breakfast, lunch or dinner, or all three!!
If you are not in the area, please be in prayer for this event. Pray that people will see the signs and drop their receipts in the basket and that much will be raised to help with the medical expenses for these sweet girls.
Thank you all in advance for your participation and prayer for this event.
If you are not in the area, please be in prayer for this event. Pray that people will see the signs and drop their receipts in the basket and that much will be raised to help with the medical expenses for these sweet girls.
Thank you all in advance for your participation and prayer for this event.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Power of Prayer
Well as you may know, we came home from hospital on Friday and have had to continue with the wraps on little livi's hands and feet and continue with all the meds to not only keep her from scratching but help her little body to heal. Through the course from day one of finding out livi was sick I have asked for prayers from all my family and friends, those I know, those I dont know who are miles and hours away. I thank you all who pray for my "special" gifts from God. This has been an exceptionally hard time with livi because trying to make her comfortable literally in her own skin has also shoen to be very uncomfortable. Watching her endure the first whirlpool treatment was heart wrenching. You could see the shear terror and pain in her eyes as she cried and screamed and all I could do was pat her and say it's ok while I had to hold back tears and cry inside to God asking for Him to give her comfort. The last few days since coming home have proved that God has heard my cry as well as the cries of many others that livi find comfort. She is tolerating the wraps very well and doesn't scratch as much as she has been so her little skin is beginning to heal. PRAISE GOD!!! Thank you to all who have prayed, continue to pray for her, it means more than you may ever know.
We have an upcoming neurology visit on the 14th of February and I ask that you please pray for some insight into how livi is feeling, functioning and how we can better learn to live and help her on a daily basis. It is very hard to watch her cry and scream for periods of time and not knowing what she wants and her not knowing how to express her need. Is she in pain? Did she have a seizure that I didn't see? Did she hurt herself? It's so hard to be a mom and no that no matter what you offer, you can't offer a "fix" to the problem. I can offer reassurance, I can offer love, I can offer open arms, prayer but thats not an instant to the current upset. Please pray that as the doctor evaluates her that he sees her as his, and that he chooses to help her in a way he would want his child helped. I pray that God is in the hearts of those who will become the drs that help livi and teach us how to help her daily. I pray that as decisions are made, the drs look to God first, then their books.
Again, I cannot say thank you enough for all that everyone has done for my girls. I will try to keep updates going as much as possible. We are adding new treatments to our weekly routine so please be in prayer that adjustments come easy. The prayers that flow from here to our Heavenly Father cannot be sent enough and when anyone says "What can I do???" Thats all I know, just pray. It works. So thanks for reading, praying, passing along the blog and being such signs of strength, encouragement and faith when mine seems to disappear in the midst of my trials. My love to you all from me and my family.
We have an upcoming neurology visit on the 14th of February and I ask that you please pray for some insight into how livi is feeling, functioning and how we can better learn to live and help her on a daily basis. It is very hard to watch her cry and scream for periods of time and not knowing what she wants and her not knowing how to express her need. Is she in pain? Did she have a seizure that I didn't see? Did she hurt herself? It's so hard to be a mom and no that no matter what you offer, you can't offer a "fix" to the problem. I can offer reassurance, I can offer love, I can offer open arms, prayer but thats not an instant to the current upset. Please pray that as the doctor evaluates her that he sees her as his, and that he chooses to help her in a way he would want his child helped. I pray that God is in the hearts of those who will become the drs that help livi and teach us how to help her daily. I pray that as decisions are made, the drs look to God first, then their books.
Again, I cannot say thank you enough for all that everyone has done for my girls. I will try to keep updates going as much as possible. We are adding new treatments to our weekly routine so please be in prayer that adjustments come easy. The prayers that flow from here to our Heavenly Father cannot be sent enough and when anyone says "What can I do???" Thats all I know, just pray. It works. So thanks for reading, praying, passing along the blog and being such signs of strength, encouragement and faith when mine seems to disappear in the midst of my trials. My love to you all from me and my family.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Updates on the girls and tests
Well as you know from the blog it's been awhile since post have been put on. I do greatly apologize for that, things have been a little crazy and I know that this is how many keep informed about sam and livi, so please forgive me.
Update on Livi....through all the testing that was done back in november and december, the results are as follows. The tests showed there are pedi maul seizures but it's non-specific. Not linked to just light sensitivity, over stimulation, television and unknown if it's food. The vascular malformation in her brain can cause seizures as well as her tumor on the paratoid gland and she has been newly diagnosed with Celiac Disease which as well can cause seizures. For her new diagnosis, she has been put on a gluten-free diet and praise God she seems to be tolerating it very well and having no problems. She has had some setbacks that I would appreciate prayer for. We are supposed to see a developmental neurologist on Feb 14 because she has begun to have crying and screaming fits for unknown reasons, is not sleeping well at night and chooses to eat off and on, no regular eating habits. We were in the dr's office for checkups for sam and hannah and livi screamed for 2 hours and the dr made phone calls that day because she was concerned that there is something going on that may have been missed. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful dr and that she cares for my children as if they were her own. God gives many blessings and I count that as one of them!! As some may know, we are currently in the hospital being treated for her exzema. She underwent a whirlpool treatment yesterday and is supposed to recieve two today. The whirlpool is supposed to break up the dry skin and scabs from her scratching like crazy and then meds are put in water and on her skin and then wrapped to help her heal and not get a staph infection. This has been difficult, but know it is necessary in keeping her well and comfortable. This for now will become a part of our weekly routine. We will now recieve radiation, therapy and the whirlpool treatment for now . Livi doesn;t like the tub but has done well with the wraps, I ask you please continue to pray for comfort and peace.
Update on Sam....bone scan and blood tests showed that cancer is still in pelvic area, contained has not grown but has not shrunk. Dr says with her immune being down for soo long she may take longer to really respond to treatments but he feels very good that she will recover. She begins another round of radiaton this week and chemo as well will start again, with the dosage being increased this time. She seems to handle things very well, but when she doesnt know any different I guess it's no big deal to her. She has been complaining again lately that her legs hurt which is normal for where the cancer is, but she takes meds and keeps going. Wish I had the energy to accept what is and just keep going.....Man it's hard. She's had a rough time with me being gone this time but Im thankful for my family who is caring for her and hannah and thankful my mom has such an understanding, christian man as her principal at the school and allowed her to be off when needed to care for my babies at home when I can't be there myself.
I ask that as you read this, please pass it on so that those who read will stop once and awhile to say a prayer for my babies. Prayer is the best gift anyone could give them, because I know that when two or more are joined together, God hears their cries. I pray for comfort and peace for sam and livi and for their little spirits to continue to be as happy and carefree as always. I ask that prayers for hannah be that of understanding and acceptance that even though we dont like what has become "normal" in our lives, God chose US to care for these precious babies and that through this she becomes as strong as I know she really is, even though she doesnt see it yet.
Thanks again to all who help my babies and my family in soo many ways, from them being put on prayer lists, being prayed over the dinner table, from the phone calls, visits to the simple texts. There will never be a way I can ever repay each and everyone of you for what you have shown me. God's undying love for me is what you have shown me and I only pray that I can do that for someone in their time of need as you all have done for me in my time. May God Bless each of you who reads this and passes it on down the prayer chain. Love to each of you!
Update on Livi....through all the testing that was done back in november and december, the results are as follows. The tests showed there are pedi maul seizures but it's non-specific. Not linked to just light sensitivity, over stimulation, television and unknown if it's food. The vascular malformation in her brain can cause seizures as well as her tumor on the paratoid gland and she has been newly diagnosed with Celiac Disease which as well can cause seizures. For her new diagnosis, she has been put on a gluten-free diet and praise God she seems to be tolerating it very well and having no problems. She has had some setbacks that I would appreciate prayer for. We are supposed to see a developmental neurologist on Feb 14 because she has begun to have crying and screaming fits for unknown reasons, is not sleeping well at night and chooses to eat off and on, no regular eating habits. We were in the dr's office for checkups for sam and hannah and livi screamed for 2 hours and the dr made phone calls that day because she was concerned that there is something going on that may have been missed. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful dr and that she cares for my children as if they were her own. God gives many blessings and I count that as one of them!! As some may know, we are currently in the hospital being treated for her exzema. She underwent a whirlpool treatment yesterday and is supposed to recieve two today. The whirlpool is supposed to break up the dry skin and scabs from her scratching like crazy and then meds are put in water and on her skin and then wrapped to help her heal and not get a staph infection. This has been difficult, but know it is necessary in keeping her well and comfortable. This for now will become a part of our weekly routine. We will now recieve radiation, therapy and the whirlpool treatment for now . Livi doesn;t like the tub but has done well with the wraps, I ask you please continue to pray for comfort and peace.
Update on Sam....bone scan and blood tests showed that cancer is still in pelvic area, contained has not grown but has not shrunk. Dr says with her immune being down for soo long she may take longer to really respond to treatments but he feels very good that she will recover. She begins another round of radiaton this week and chemo as well will start again, with the dosage being increased this time. She seems to handle things very well, but when she doesnt know any different I guess it's no big deal to her. She has been complaining again lately that her legs hurt which is normal for where the cancer is, but she takes meds and keeps going. Wish I had the energy to accept what is and just keep going.....Man it's hard. She's had a rough time with me being gone this time but Im thankful for my family who is caring for her and hannah and thankful my mom has such an understanding, christian man as her principal at the school and allowed her to be off when needed to care for my babies at home when I can't be there myself.
I ask that as you read this, please pass it on so that those who read will stop once and awhile to say a prayer for my babies. Prayer is the best gift anyone could give them, because I know that when two or more are joined together, God hears their cries. I pray for comfort and peace for sam and livi and for their little spirits to continue to be as happy and carefree as always. I ask that prayers for hannah be that of understanding and acceptance that even though we dont like what has become "normal" in our lives, God chose US to care for these precious babies and that through this she becomes as strong as I know she really is, even though she doesnt see it yet.
Thanks again to all who help my babies and my family in soo many ways, from them being put on prayer lists, being prayed over the dinner table, from the phone calls, visits to the simple texts. There will never be a way I can ever repay each and everyone of you for what you have shown me. God's undying love for me is what you have shown me and I only pray that I can do that for someone in their time of need as you all have done for me in my time. May God Bless each of you who reads this and passes it on down the prayer chain. Love to each of you!
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